Archive for April, 2010

After by far his worst tournament of his career it seems as if Tiger’s game is on the verge falling off a cliff and into the most dramatic decline in the history of the sport.

While ordinarily it would be totally absurd to make such a bold assertion based on just two rounds of golf, for many reasons this situation seems very different.

First, he is not injured. Any injuries he currently has are mental and those tend to be permanent.

Second, this was his second tournament back and he has been practicing full-time for at least two months. Rust is not a valid excuse for play this bad.

Third, he has never had more incentive to play well than he did this week. He desperately needed to put the scandal behind him with a victory and with his rival Phil Mickelson breathing down his neck for the number one position in the world.

Fourth, he not only played worse than he ever has before, he flat out quit. No matter how the pathetic Golf Channel tries to spin it (incredibly, they didn’t even ask Tiger about having quit), he absolutely quit and also put his playing partners (one of whom was right on the cut line) in an uncomfortable position by costing himself a shot by not taking a proper drop on 14 and by playing 150 yards ahead of them on number 15. Tiger never quit before the scandal. Never.

Fifth, Tiger’s last major swing change was specifically designed to eliminate this kind of performance. Now, Tiger is not only no longer nearly as explosive in a positive direction, he now has no longer taken big numbers out of play. All the of the time and work of the Hank Haney era has been essentially wasted. Haney should be looking over his shoulder and holding on tight to his bodacious girlfriend who figures to leave five minutes after Tiger drops him.

Sixth, he has played poorly for five straight tournament rounds now (if you include his play in this week’s pro-am) and has scored and played progressively worse for three consecutive days.  That has never happened before in his pro career.

While it is still too soon to know for sure, it is quite possible that this scandal has scrambled the hard drive in Tiger’s brain and that the genius is now gone or at least unable to called upon when desired. His game is resembling that of the once great Seve Ballesteros who happens to be the best player ever to lose his game completely.

Like Seve, Tiger’s driving has gone from inconsistent to flat out erratic and uncontrolable. He can’t hit a fairway and is losing distance for no apparent reason (his claim that he lost distance last year due to an achilles “tear” is just plain silly and an indication that he is in denial).

Also like Seve, Tiger’s short game and short putting are still top notch, but with his long game gone it puts too much pressure on the other elements and inevitably, like they did today,  they will collapse as well.

Making matters even more daunting for Tiger is that, unlike Seve, he will have absolutely no time to turn things around or any place to hide. The stories will already start to be written that he may have lost his super powers and that he is merely just another PGA Tour player. The pressure will increase and may even become a self fulfilling prophecy, especially since his mechanics are horrible right now and he has very limited “post-scandal” success upon which to draw.

Add to all this his inevitable divorce, the crumbling of his financial empire, and the fact that crowds and maybe even the golf media will eventually turn against him and it sure seems as if this could be the start of a downward spiral the likes of which we have never seen before.

Let’s make no mistake about just how bad this was. This wasn’t just a missed cut. This was his first missed cut at a non-major since 2005. This was at a par 72 venue that he openly likes and where he has previously won. This was 16 shots worse than one of his playing partners and 17 shots worse than Monday qualifier Billy Mayfair. He hit only his six fairways. He made back to back double bogies. He shot his highest 9 hole and 36 hole scores ever as a pro. And, again, he quit.

Tiger desperately needs to turn this around immediately, but the TPC is not a place where that is likely to happen and if he misses the cut there then the floodgates of criticism will open and he will have trouble even getting enough rounds in before the U.S. Open to see if any corrections he finally makes will actually work in competition.

The most important element of all of this is Tiger’s confidence. When Seve lost his legnedary confidence he lost everything and he lost it pretty fast. Because of the unique natue of this scandal I think it is quite possible that Tiger’s confidence is perilously close to being shot and that without that there is almost nothing to keep this from getting incredibly ugly, with remarkable speed.

I almost feel sorry for the lying fraud. But not really.

After today’s Tiger Woods press conference, the wussification of the golf press (already one of the wimpiest entities on earth) is now complete. Not one tough question was asked of Tiger as he prepares for another struggling top 10 at the Quail Hollow event in Charlotte.

Here are just some of the questions that still should have been asked of Tiger but now, probably never will be.

In your Jacksonville speech you discussed saving your marriage and hardly mentioned golf, since then it has been all about golf, is your marriage over ? Was that speech just PR?

You have not fired anyone in your innner circle, have gone back to a full schedule and are still cursing on the golf course, other than signing a few more autographs, what exactly has changed about you?

At the Masters you said that you would try to behave yourself better on the course and then when you were lightly questioned about  the fact that you didn’t improve you said that people were making too big  a deal out of the whole matter. Does that mean that we shouldn’t take anything you say/promise seriously?

When you were juggling several mistresses at one time, bringing some of them to tournaments, do you think that ever impacted your play and, if so, in what way?

The National Enquirer reports that you slept with 121 women during your marriage to Elin and that the revelation that you slept with your neighbor’s daughter was the final straw for Elin. Is that true?

Your father once said that you are physically unable to lie. Did he not know you as well as he thought? Is being a pathological liar more difficult when your profession requires such honesty?

You claim that you had a turn achilles tendon at the end of 2008. Most experts say that is impossible, do you care to correct the record on that? 

You said that you were pleasantly surprised at the crowd reaction at Augusta, do you think it would be appropriate for fans to express their discontent with your behavior? If so, how so?

You claim that the details of your Thanksgiving accident are in the “police report,” and that some “stuff” happened between you and Elin which will remain private. However, you made a Nike commercial which tries to use your scandal to sell product, doesn’t that further insure that this is indeed a public matter? Why shouldn’t we assume you are lying about the accident? How did that Nike ad come to be made?

What message does plaing golf with Michael Jordan, who many people believe enabled your cheating, send about how much you have really changed?

How has presumably not having had sex in a very long time impacted your golf game?

It has been reported that you were called by Bill Clinton after your scandal broke, what was the nature of that conversation?

Where were you for your treatment and how did you escape public notice for so long?

Instead, one of the “toughest” questions he faced was whether he was considering changing his balls. No, not the kind that got him in so much trouble. 

No one is paying much attention to this aspect of the story, but when Tiger Woods announced (early) that he will be playing in Charlotte later this month he was pretty much also declaring that his marriage is over.

To some such a conclusion may seem like a stretch, while to others it may fit into the “No duh” category.

While this outcome has seemed likely for quite some time, the decision to play again so soon after The Masters sealed it for me. There seems to me absolutely no way that Tiger could give a speech less than two months ago in which he dedicates himself to his family and barely mentions golf, and then almost immediately spends 24/7 on golf, doesn’t fire any of the many people in his inner circle who enabled his serial cheating, and dive right into a full-time PGA Tour schedule and still have any prayer of digging himself out of the colossal hole he has dug for himself with Elin (a “pass” for the “The Masters” I could understand, a reguar PGA Tour event, no way). It should also be noted that Elin appears to now be in much better shape than she was before the scandal, which also indicates she is gone.

Of course, this not only means that his marriage is over. It also means that his infamous Jacksonville speech was, like much of what he has said since last Thanksgiving, waws completely full of crap (though it does seem possible that something happened right after that which changed everything on a dime).

Unfortunately this sad state of affairs is now simply par for the course in the new Tiger reality.

I have no idea how Tiger shot 11 under par. He made 14 bogies, 17 birdies and 4 eagles (his 21 holes under par were two more than even Phil Mickelson). At times (especially on Sunday) his game was literally worse than it has ever looked. To shoot 69 on Sunday at The Masters with six horrible tee shots, a duffed bunker shot, and a three putt from six feet is just simply unbelievable.  

I was very curious as to how I would react to seeing Tiger play golf again. Since 1994 he has been by far my strongest rooting interest in all of sports, but this was the first time we got to witness him in the light of man no longer worthy of any form of worship. I found myself extremely conflicted. After all of this time, it is almost part of my DNA now to cheer for Tiger and there was still a small part of me that did so. However, I think the main reason that I was in part rooting for him was because I simply wanted him to be in contention so he wold continue to be part of the story and to see what he was really capable of. After all, a significant part of Tiger’s allure (at least for me) has always been the notion that he was a human lab experiment for the potential of our species. This weekend we found out that it is not possible to take five months off, have your life turned upside, and win The Masters.

While part of me was, almost instinctively, cheering for Tiger, had I been at Augusta National I can assure you that the week would NOT have ended without even a single “incident” from the patrons. I have absolutely no doubt that I would have heckled Tiger to the point of being tossed from the grounds (I was temporarily removed from Augusta National in 1992 because I was using a press pass with the wrong name on it), if only to make the point to him and the world that there are still people who feel very strongly that he has let them and the game of golf down. I am saddened that no one apparently had the balls to take a stand this week.

My overriding emotions in reacting to seeing Tiger’s return to golf was probably sadness and anger. I am extremely sad that one of the great joys of my life has been needlessly destroyed and angered at Tiger for having soiled his very special place in our culture for a bunch of dumb sluts.  

I don’t know what to make of Tiger’s pronouncement on CBS after the tournament that he doesn’t know when he will play again and implied that it might not be for quite a while. If he thinks that he can do things the way Ben Hogan did after his accident (no, Tiger, your car accidents were NOT at all similar) and basically only play the majors he is very mistaken. This week showed that his swing is simply not built for that type of schedule. He is far too much of a feel player and with his short game magic gone and his swing clearly out of sync he looked totally lost. I really believe that his reentry at Augusta and his future schedule have been planned based far more on media/spectators issues than what is best for his golf game. 

It certainly appears that this talk of a “new” Tiger Woods has been greatly exaggerated. First off all, after be careful to smile as much as possible and use the first names of his questioners (which surely sent the narcissitic press corp into full swoon) at monday’s press confernece, Tiger basically blew the media off for the rest of the week. As far as I could tell he only signed a few autographs, and on at least three occasions he let out various verions of “God Damn It!” and even one “Jesus Christ!” (I thought he was Buddist!). Back in the glory days of the First Church of Tiger Woods we would have surely used these religious-based outbursts of examples of Tiger simply engaging in an internal family dispute with his Father, but now I see them as simply further evidence that Tiger Woods is a fraud and far too many people (especailly in the media) are still buying what he is selling.

Ok, some of my predictions about Tiger and this Masters have been way off so far, but I am still convinced he has no chance of actually winning this thing. If he does, it will simply be the greatest athletic achievement I have ever witnessed.

Regardless, barring a complete unforeseen Sunday disaster, I am completely shocked at how well this Masters has gone both on and off the course for our former hero.

His play, while far from perfect, has been beyond remarkable for someone who has not played competitively for five months, was in hiding for three months, and has had his entire life totally turned upside down (not to mention presumably not having been laid in over four months).

Off the course, things have gone even better for him. He handled the pathetic softballs tossed to him but the wussified press nearly perfectly and his few slip ups (comparing his comeback to Ben Hogan’s???) were largely ignored by the media. Also not mentioned, incredibly, by the golf press (specifically The Golf Channel and CBS ) was the beyond creepy and misleading  new Nike ad which uses Tiger’s philandering dead father to help take advantage of this ugly scandal and the revelation that one of Tiger’s conquests/victims was the 21 year old daughter of his neighbor who he met when she was just 14.

Can you imagine the firestorm that would have ignited had just that revelation come out the week of The Masters? But much like Bill Clinton before him, Tiger is benefiting greatly from the sheer magnitude of all of his transgressions and the media’s distaste for the details as well as their propensity for getting easily bored.

While I am not shocked (though I am disappointed) by the putrid performance of the media, I am completely dumbfounded that the tabloid press has apparently wimped out big time. I can’t believe that none of those outlets saw the amazing opportunity they had to rather easily wreak havoc at sports most prestigious event and create enormous ratings/traffic.

Perhaps even more remarkable is that apparently not even ONE “patron” of the tournament had the guts to express their displeasure with Tiger verbally during the tournament. It has not surprised me that the overall reaction to him has been positive. After all, most people are wimps (O. J. Simpson has always said that the vast majority of bystanders he ran into after he got out of prison were very friendly)  and golf fans are trained to cheer for literally everyone. But not even one fan with enough balls to let Tiger know that there are those among us who have not and will not forgive him for his massive betrayal of our trust?!! Even when doing so would not only be justified but would also likely lead to instant fame?

I just don’t get it.

The ex-Pastor predicts that Tiger will not break par tomorrow (his unoffical “over/under” is 74). He played great today, but the rust will show on Friday and he will not be a major contender on the weekend.

The ex-pastor of the former First Church of Tiger Woods went on a major New Zealand (home of Tiger’s caddies Steve Williams) television show to blast Tiger and make predictions about how Tiger will do at The Masters.

You can watch it here:

http://tvnz.co.nz/close-up/does-church-tiger-woods-still-believe-3453534/video

It is hardly surprising in this era when “journalists” come up tiny in big situations and reveal that there is no bite behind their bark. In the world of golf this reality is even more pronounced as the term “golf journalist” is simply a contradiction of terms largely because life following the tour is so cushy that no one would dare jeopardize their spot at the table by getting out of line (not to mention the inherent conflict of interest entities like the Golf Channel have covering their ratings-makers like Tiger Woods).

However, even with extremely low expectations, yesterday’s perfomarnce and Tiger Woods’ highly anticipated press conference for the The Masters was an embarrassment. In fact, it was so bad, it resembled Barack Obama being questioned by a series of MSNBC hosts.

Here are just some of the questions/topics that inexplicably never really came up during the press conference:

Why did you lie to the Golf Channel when you claimed that no one in your inner circle helped you carry out your affairs? Why are Byron Bell and Mark Steinberg still on your team?  Why should we not believe the overwhelming evidence against them? Why should we believe that Steve Williams knew nothing when your mistresses claim otherwise?

Why did you lie three times when said that Elin acted as a hero during your car accident? Are you now backing off that lie by absurdly stating “It is all in the police report,” and lamely claiming that “a lot of stuff happened” between you and Elin that will remain private?

Where were you going the night of the accident? Why were you leaving the house at 2:30 in the morning?

Why are you teachers saying you lied about being the victim of a racial incident as a child?

Have the texts that you sent to your mistresses been reported accurately? If so, why should we not conclude that you are a misogynist?

Have you paid off mistresses to kep quiet? Have any of your mistresses ever had an abortion related to your contact with them? Did you pay for those abortions?

Reports indicate that security here at The Masters have been given “mug shots” of your mistresses to make sure they don’t get on the grounds, whose idea was that? Are you concerned some of them may show up? How would you handle that situation? Do you think that they don’t have the right to attend the event?

How did you stay out of the public eye for so long after the accident? How do you think your response to the story was flawed? What have you learned for this experience?

You said you didn’t play at Tavistock or Bay Hill because you weren’t ready to physically, but you committed to The Masters at the same time, how did you know you would be able to get ready and if you find out you weren’t reay, would you withdraw?

How does devoting yourself 100% to golf right now help you heal your family problems?  Why should we not assume your marriage is done when you and Elin are never together and she is not wearing her wedding ring?

Why should we believe anything you ever tell us again?

There have been a lot of shocking twists and turns in the Tiger Woods story since the shortest drive of his professional career led to the most significant quadruple bogey in the history of golf public relations, but to me by far the most underrated surprise has been related to the expectations for what will happen when Tiger returns at The Masters.

It seems to me that this has the potential to an unmitigated disaster for Tiger (and golf itself) both on and off the scoreboard.

The conventional wisdom seems to be that Tiger picked the perfect place to come back because Augusta National can control the media and the crowds. There is absolutely no doubt that, at first glance, this is obviously true. Media credentials are impossible to get or even transfer (I was once removed from Augusta National by a security guard because my press credential had the wrong name on it; and I was working for the local TV station that annually carries the tournament!). The spectator badges are numbered so that anyone causing a scene would not only be kicked out, but whomever owns that ticket will lose a prized possession forever (it is important to note that practice round tickets are a very different situation, making the publicizing of the time of Tiger’s first practice round on Monday April 5th may potentially as golf’s non lethal equivalent to the newspapers reporting JFK’s Dallas parade path).  .

However, this apparent impenetrable fortress may, like the ancient city of Troy, create a false sense of security that is setting everyone up for an ambush.

First of all, tickets (especially for practice rounds) will still be easily obtainable on the scalping market. Since there is no way to ID everyone with a ticket, this means that anyone with enough money and desire will be able to get within a few feet of Tiger Woods. Does anyone really believe that at least one of Tiger’s mistresses, perhaps with a web site address advertised on a T-shirt hidden under a jacket will not milk this huge event for an extension of their 15 minutes of fame?

For that matter, what is to keep the tabloid press from purchasing a bunch of tickets, hiding cell phone cameras on their person and then using one of the many closed quarters tee boxes to hold their own Tiger Woods “press conference”? With the massive amount of attention that will be focused on this event, it would be possible for these entities to justify almost any expense/risk (especially when the coverage of the first round will be so limited on ESPN that there will be a giant window for potentially “exclusive” footage of “what you didn’t see at the Masters.”) to be part of the story.

Think of it this way, if the media world knew that Sandra Bullock was going to be in an easily accessible place for five consecutive hours where you could legally get within a few feet of her at any given moment by simply paying a few hundred dollars, what would be the chances that every “tabloid” outlet would not be there? Now, divide those long odds by ten (because the Tiger story is exponentially bigger) and you can see that it would seem to be impossible that nothing like this is in the works.

In fact, the challenge of pulling something like this off may actually increase the chances of it happening. If Tiger had returned at the far less prestigious Bay Hill, there wouldn’t have been quite the same power to any acts of subversion. Now, like radio shock jocks Opie and Anthony pulling their infamous sex contest in St. Patrick’s Cathedral, anything at all out of the ordinary is assured of getting an avalanche of attention and every single patron will be one well-placed heckle from being an international news story.

The thing that stuns me most is that it appears that the lords of Augusta National not only don’t seem to fear what will happen when Tiger returns to their hallowed grounds, but it looks as if they have actually embraced this scenario. Now thanks to their racist past there was no way they could have told Tiger to take a pass this year, but they are now setting up a situation where one person’s non golfing antics will completely define their tournament. This goes against virtually everything for which this event has stood. No matter what happens, Tiger Woods will be much bigger than the 2010 Masters. In the past that may have been the case due to his play, but this year it will definitely be because of his scandal.

Even if none of the disruptive scenarios I have outlined actually happen, the event will still be a circus. Most people fail to realize that the famous and overrated Magnolia Lane is only about 300 yards long, meaning the clubhouse is almost within shouting distance of the very commercial Washington Road, which will likely have an atmosphere resembling Mardi Gras.    

 As for Tiger himself, there is certainly a good chance that he will continue to effectively dodge and lie (as he did numerous times in his first interviews) in response to questions from the still largely sycophantic press about why the best player in the world has literally disappeared for five months, but the almost universal optimism about how he will play appears to be at least as delusional as the confidence in Augusta National’s ability to complete control everything else.

 No one knows for sure how Tiger will play, but the notion that he will suddenly emerge from a phone booth and trounce the field after this kind of traumatic layoff when he has only won this tournament once (by half a roll of a Nike golf ball) since the major course renovations, is simply ignorant. When he won the U.S. Open in 2008 on a broken leg after an eight week layoff it was the most remarkable thing I have ever witnessed in sports. If he does the same thing at the Masters with a much longer layoff and with a fractured psyche (far more dangerous to a golfer than any bone) it will dwarf even that amazing accomplishment.

We have learned long ago to never doubt Tiger Woods, but the last five months have given us many reasons to question who he really is. The Tiger Woods we thought we knew is dead. This is Tiger Woods 2.0, and we will have no idea what that version is capable of until at least April 8^th. For my money, Tiger will struggle to make the cut.  

No matter what happens, all of it will be must-see TV, but the chances of it all going according to plan are nonexistent.